During these dificult financial times we are living in, it is hard for me to accept that we Americans have become the largest exporter of one thing: CHAOS.
I've been reading up on the economy and would like to share share with you some investment opportunities that do exist - even in this most dire economic climate.
Realize that if you purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received a $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and recycle.
I call it the 401-Keg.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans are getting about 41 miles to the gallon.
And they say "America runs on Dunkin' "!
-Sir Monocle
This has been a rough week for Sir Monocle. Luckily my boss has patience and understanding. Because if I had an absent minded employee like me, I would have slashed his tires by now.
Scelata
